conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
