Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My penis needs a shock collar
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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