he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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