I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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