She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
