I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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