i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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