why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
