They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
