i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
