yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
