plz talk dirty to me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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