it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
