i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
