why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm really busy with my period
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