there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Drunk is not a location!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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