I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
