woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
