3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
