You're so nebulous sometimes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
