If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
