yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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