He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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