i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
