The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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