Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
