He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
