I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
