can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
