her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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