Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
