she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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