just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
