I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
