I don't remember. Are we still dating?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
