Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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