Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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