Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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