I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
