Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
