i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
