Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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