To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
