im drinking this country out of the recession.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
