How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
