You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
