we have pet lesbian snakes
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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