never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Someone came in the potted fern
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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