put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
