You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
