I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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