How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
