I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
