We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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